


Clasping of Hands

by redwildsparkles



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Antagonism, F/M, Female Friendship, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:05:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4089805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redwildsparkles/pseuds/redwildsparkles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Hands of the Divine don't take to each other at first. Leliana, Cassandra, and seven years of love. This story intersects with "Fondest, Blindest, Weakest," but can also be read on its own. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Left Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana’s first two days in Divine Justinia’s service are not what she expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a short, two-part fic, because I love thinking about Leliana and Cassandra’s long relationship! This intersects with my other story, “Fondest, Blindest, Weakest,” but it works on its own too. So happy to have you as a reader!

“Lord, thou art mine, and I am thine,

If mine I am: and thine much more,

Then I or ought, or can be mine.

Yet to be thine, doth me restore;

So that again I now am mine,

And with advantage mine the more,

Since this being mine, brings with it thine,

And thou with me dost thee restore.

         If I without thee would be mine,

         I neither should be mine nor thine.”

– George Herbert, “Clasping of Hands”

 

_9:34 Dragon_

Leliana would always remember arriving to serve as the Divine’s Left Hand – and being greeted by her Right, who was both the perfectly logical choice and somehow the last person she’d expected to see.

In her arrogance, Leliana had hoped to be welcome by Dorothea herself. Or Justinia, as she was now called. Instead, as she rode up to the gates of the cloister, she saw that the welcome party was led by a tall woman in armor. Short dark hair, steely eyes, cheekbones that could cut glass. She was the first to speak.

“Divine Justinia sends her apologies that she could not meet you here. She was busy today ministering to the sick and wounded since dawn, and the cold air brings pain to her joints.”

There was her Nevarran accent – much stronger than Leliana had anticipated. And the shock of realizing that Dorothea – Justinia – was old now, weaker. Mortal.

“Come, she is waiting for you inside,” she continued, already turning to go.

Then she paused.

“I am Cassandra Pentaghast,” she said coldly. “But you know that.”

“Leliana,” she replied, in the same tone. “And yes. Your reputation precedes you.”

In the stiff silence as they walked into the cloister together, Leliana could hear one of the attendants let out a wild, nervous giggle, which she immediately stifled by clapping her hands over her mouth.

_Is this funny?_ Leliana thought.

_Oh, yes,_ she answered herself a moment later. _Together, the two bickering Hands of the new Divine are going to make her a laughingstock._

* * *

 

She sat on the Sunburst Throne, somehow giving the impression of towering over them in her red and white headdress, her shift of scarlet and dark gold.

“Sister Leliana, we welcome you.”

She sounded older, holier, and more distant. Even so, Leliana wanted nothing more than to run up to her old mentor and throw her arms around her. Instead, she dropped to one knee and said, “I am honored to have been called into your service, Divine.”

“The honor is mine also.”

Justinia gestured to Cassandra, who stood silently at her right, following Leliana’s movements with her eyes.

“Cassandra has agreed to be my Right Hand, as she served Divine Beatrix before me. Now you have come to be my Left. Glory be to the Maker for the gifts He has given to extend and advance me.”

Leliana chorused with the others, “His name be glorified.”

Divine Justinia said, “You arrived later than expected today.”

Leliana felt a ripple of shame wash over her. On her first day, she’d already disappointed the Divine.

“We will proceed with your installation and the evening service. Regrettably, I must retire afterwards, but Cassandra will continue to see you through your duties. We will speak again in the morning.

“Rise,” she commanded, and Leliana stood, along with everyone else in the room. “A prayer before we depart. The Maker is my light and my salvation…”

Leliana responded in unison with the group – “Whom shall I fear?”

“The Maker is the stronghold of my life…”

“Of whom shall I be afraid?”

They all knew the words, but two voices seemed to stand out harshly from the rest. Cassandra’s, of course. And her own.

* * *

 

There were prayers, endless prayers. Rituals, candles lit one by one, a full physical examination, fittings for ceremonial gowns, countless books and scrolls with spaces for Leliana to sign _Leliana Leliana Leliana Leliana_ , until she hardly knew the meaning of what she was writing anymore. Justinia had left after the first two hours, wincing – her joints did seem to cause her pain. That left Cassandra to oversee the rest of what needed to be done – and for all of Cassandra’s brusqueness, it seemed as though they would never finish.

At last the other attendants peeled away, and Leliana allowed herself to hope that she might be allowed to turn in for the night. Instead, Cassandra motioned for her to follow her once more. “Where are we going?” Leliana asked, but Cassandra shook her head and said nothing.

They took a baffling route, climbing stairs, descending them, all the while proceeding deeper and deeper into the cloister. Finally, Cassandra opened an unmarked door and showed her into a small square room, where there was little more than a table and three chairs, a half-empty bookcase, and two banal paintings on the walls.

“The inner chambers,” Cassandra said, when she’d closed the door behind them. “Where we may speak freely with the Divine. She asked me to bring you here last of all. Eat.”

There was bread on the table, with cheese and fruit and a bottle of wine. Leliana sat at the table, and Cassandra pulled out the chair across from her. But when Leliana waited to see who should bless the meal, Cassandra simply pulled out a sheaf of documents and began reading them intently, as though Leliana weren’t there at all.

Leliana bowed her head, folded her hands, and said grace, thanking the Maker at length for a safe journey, asking Him to improve Justinia’s health, and all the while adding anything else that came to mind. Partly she meant it in earnest, partly she wanted to prove herself sufficiently devout, and partly she wanted to put off eating for as long as possible. She felt no hunger, only sadness. That, and something like suffocation from Cassandra’s imposing presence.

When she could delay no more, she tore off a piece of bread. It was dry and hard to swallow. Cassandra muttered something under her breath, which just might have been related to what she was reading. Leliana tipped a measure of wine into her glass and looked at it, a dark pool that seemed so like the feeling inside her that she didn’t think she could stomach any more.

The door grated open.

“Divine Justinia,” Cassandra said, standing quickly. Leliana jumped to her feet as well, knocking over her glass. She caught it just in time. The wine sloshed right up to the lip before falling. It did not spill.

Justinia motioned for both of them to sit down. Cassandra discreetly slipped into the chair next to Leliana, leaving the seat across from them vacant for Justinia. She wore a thick embroidered robe, which somehow lent her the impression of being ready for bed and also fully dressed to receive company. Cassandra sat very straight and folded her arms. Leliana tilted her chin up slightly. Somehow she had the feeling she was in trouble.  

“I am supposed to be at my personal devotions,” Justinia said. “But I felt a prompting from the Maker to do greater work here, and here you are.” She looked only at Leliana when she spoke. Suddenly her eyes twinkled. “Of course, I have wanted to speak with you for a very long time.” She reached across the table and placed her hands on Leliana’s shoulders. “Leliana. My child. My sweet, beloved girl.”

It was too much. The tears she’d been holding back all day burst through. She sobbed uncontrollably for a few moments before she could get her breath back. “Forgive me, Mot- Divine Justinia. I am glad to be here, to serve as your Left Hand.”

“I doubt that I inspire this much gladness,” Justinia said, with a touch of humor. “You may tell me, child. What more is on your heart and mind?”

“Self-pity, Most Holy. Nothing more.”

Justinia regarded her sternly. “I have known girls who entered the Chantry without shedding a tear for the life they leave behind.”

_Cassandra, no doubt_ , Leliana thought.

“But,” Justinia went on, “I must confess they have never been my favorites.”

Leliana realized she had been stunned silent with Justinia prompted her, firmly, “You have written to me less candidly about your associates than usual. Who have you been with?”

Justinia never implied anything by accident. “A friend, from the Fifth Blight. The Warden,” she added.

“The Hero of Ferelden? We have heard of him even here in Orlais, you know.” Justinia looked closely at her. “You must have loved each other deeply, having remained together for the past four years.”

Leliana lowered her gaze. “Yes.” From anyone else such a statement would have been presumption, but from Justinia, it came from the deepest knowledge of her heart.

“There have been stories of all kinds. Why have you been spreading rumors that he died slaying the Archdemon?”

“Because he should have died,” Leliana said, feeling her fingers clench into a fist. “He should have been possessed with the archdemon’s essence, and then slain. Instead, he struck the death blow and lived. It contradicts every teaching of the Grey Wardens. I don’t know how he survived.”

Justinia frowned. “Does he?”

“He will not say. And he has done everything in his power to avoid those who would ask. Since ending the Blight, we have kept our whereabouts secret, even from those we traveled with – Alistair, the Gray Warden I wrote to you about, Morrigan, the Witch of the Wilds… Since the Blight, he has preferred to remain hidden.”

“Even if that means parting from you when I called you to my side?”

“Yes.” Leliana shook herself. “I know my place is here with you, Justinia. I believe that is the Maker’s will for me. He accepts this.”

Justinia said gently, “He must be a good man, to have made yet another difficult sacrifice.”

At that, Leliana wept afresh, covering her face with her hands. When she had recovered, Justinia went on, “You parted today?”

“This afternoon. He came with me as far as he could, but left in haste. He is researching the Calling, and he has an appointment to meet with a contact in the Fallow Mire in two days. His ship leaves tomorrow.”

Justinia steepled her fingers, lost in thought. After a long pause, she said, “Your paths will be dark and treacherous. He will need your support. And you sorely miss his.”

“Nevertheless, we have parted ways.”

“And you have made no promises to each other?”

“None.”

“That was unwise.”

Leliana looked up sharply. “What could I have promised to him, knowing I was leaving to serve you?”

In the old Chantry style, Justinia answered her question with further questions. “What use is service if it is unaccompanied by love? What good is the hand without the heart? Are we merely the Maker’s instruments, to be beaten tonelessly like gongs and afterwards cast aside? Or are we His own people, sustained by common love? Should I demand your service without caring for your soul?”

Leliana shook her head. “I couldn’t make him promises I couldn’t keep.”

“I do not speak from personal experience in this matter, but…” Justinia smiled. “It is not impossible to uphold a marriage.”

Next to Leliana, Cassandra didn’t make a sound, but a scowl flashed across her features and her spine stiffened. _Either she’s terrible at keeping her thoughts to herself, or she especially wants me to know what she thinks of me,_ Leliana thought. _Probably both._

And then another thought, her usual determination momentarily restored: _We shall have to work on that._

“A marriage?” Leliana repeated.

“Marriage. A seal on your souls. A deposit.” Justinia looked up. “Normally, I would not counsel any of mine to walk such a path, even though it is not prohibited. But I judge that it would better your situation. And he has asked you before, has he not?”

“Yes,” Leliana said softly. She let out a shaky breath. “You believe this would be best?”

“I do.”

“Then yes.”

Justinia nodded. “Cassandra,” she said, and Cassandra stood even before Justinia turned around to face her. “Find the Warden. Bring him here. Be sure that no one sees you.”

Cassandra nodded. Going up to a painting, she did something Leliana couldn’t see. A panel sprang back, revealing a flight of steps descending into darkness. Without a light, Cassandra slipped in, and the panel slid shut behind her.

“I noticed that when I came in,” Leliana said. “The paintings are suspicious. Perhaps there should be more, in a sequence, so that their number would seem necessary.”

“Very good,” Justinia said. “You may see to that as one of your first tasks.”

Then she smiled.

“There,” she said. “See, you need not fear that you and Cassandra will _always_ be together.”

There was no hiding from her. “To be honest, I thought we would often be separate. The functions of the Left and the Right differ greatly, do they not?”

“It has been that way in the past. But that is not how your hands work, is it? What one can do, two may carry out more effectively. I asked Cassandra to oversee you today because you must learn to trust each other, the sooner the better. You will be closer to her than you even are to me.”

Leliana, embarrassed, said, “I look forward to serving with her. You spoke so highly of her in your letters. Her skill with the sword, her family’s influence in Nevarra, her twelve years of matchless service to Divine Beatrix…”

“Do not fear. In these last few weeks, I have spoken even more highly of you to her.” Justinia chuckled. “She is quite intimidated by you, you know. You fought alongside the Hero of Ferelden, and ended the Fifth Blight. You are fluent in the ways of the Great Game. You survived a terrible past.

“I called you, specifically, when I realized how well you two would complement each other,” she added, with a note of pride. “You will be as much mine as hers, as much hers as your own.”

Leliana opened her mouth, but Justinia cut her off. A mercy. “Now. Eat, drink. While you do, tell me more about the past four years.” She smiled, and years seemed to vanish from her face, becoming one Leliana knew well. “You met the Warden in Lothering. Was it love at first sight?”

* * *

 

Bidden at last to retire to her quarters, Leliana turned in for the night. The next day dawned, but Cassandra still did not return. At morning prayers, Divine Justinia looked tired, drawn. As she received visitors, Leliana stood at her left behind her, trying to commit the names and faces to memory, observing them as closely as she could. This one slouched, conscious of his height. This one had a weak left knee. This one wore a knife concealed in his belt. She touched the dagger at her own side, staying wary while giving an outward appearance of calm.

With sadness, she thought of how different she’d been when she first met Mother Dorothea. But that was the past. Now she had so practiced deception that it came to her naturally. This was how she would repay the debt she owed.

Justinia was just bidding farewell to a last visitor when an agent rushed in. Kneeling before the throne, the woman murmured, “Urgent dispatch for you, Divine.”

Leliana nodded to Justinia and quickly escorted the visitor out. As she re-entered the room (conscious that this was why the Divine needed _two_ helpers with her, under regular circumstances), she heard the agent say, “The prisoner you tried to set free – he has not been pardoned. In fact, the execution of he and his whole family has been scheduled for today. He asks if you would be there to perform his last rites.”

Justinia’s mouth was set in a firm line. “Prepare the carriage,” she said.

The agent hesitated. “Horses would be swifter, Divine.”

“The carriage, please,” Justinia said, and the agent bowed and hurried off.

“Leliana,” Justinia said. The others dispersed while Leliana followed Justinia on a circuitous route, finally ending up back in the room where the three of them had talked last night.

“I must leave to see to this man and his family. You must remain here.”

“Shouldn’t I accompany you?” Leliana asked.

“Normally, yes. But there isn’t time for you now. Wait for them here in the inner chambers. Do not circulate too freely until the matter we spoke about last night is completed. I will try to return in time. But if I do not, Cassandra will be with you.”

The realization struck her. “Mother Dorothea – ” she said, slipping.

“Leliana, I promise this is no trick. I have wished for many years to be the one who performed your wedding…” She looked her straight in the eye. “But I cannot always be Mother Dorothea to you now. Not when I am needed as Divine Justinia. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Divine,” Leliana murmured. “Forgive me.”

“Forgive _me_ , sweet child.” She swept Leliana into a quick embrace and left.

* * *

 

Leliana waited in the inner chambers for hours. She studied the paintings, making plans for the new series she would commission, deciding which artists she would approach in Val Royeaux. She flipped through the books on the shelves, concordances and indices of other books, hardly readable on their own. Mostly she sat and worried, feeling worse than useless.

Finally, she heard two sets of footsteps coming from behind the wall. Making a mental note that the floor needed padding, Leliana sat straighter, preparing herself.

Cassandra came through the passageway first, holding her head high, though she looked exhausted. Behind her was the Warden – for so she’d addressed him in her mind for weeks now, in an attempt to distance herself from him before they parted…

Now she rushed to embrace him. He buried his face in her hair.

“I cannot stay,” he said, softly. “We rode through the night. Once I turn back, I will have to cover that distance in half the time.”

“We came as quickly as we could,” Cassandra said, sounding defensive to Leliana’s ears. “I will bring Divine Justinia here. He must not be seen by anyone else.”

Leliana took a deep breath. “Divine Justinia was called away.”

“Shit,” Cassandra said, and Leliana blinked in surprise. “The family is being executed?

“Yes. She thought she might return in time. But…”

It was bad enough that she sounded so unsure of herself without Cassandra rounding on her, with fire in her eyes. “Are you sure of this?”

Leliana exchanged a look with him. He nodded. “This is what we want,” she said.

 “You are the Left Hand of the Divine now,” Cassandra said harshly. “There is more at stake than what you want.”

“I am aware of that,” Leliana shot back. “Need I remind you that this was Divine Justinia’s idea?”

As she spoke, her voice shook. Was she under Justinia’s control, for some sinister or careless purpose? Or was Justinia’s counsel for her good? “We will go through with this,” Leliana said firmly.

When Cassandra spoke again, her voice was calm. “Then at Justinia’s bidding, I will perform the ceremony.”

She was far from pleased, Leliana noted. But she had set her opposition and anger aside as neatly as one might remove a robe. Leliana found that she had respect for her stoicism.

Even if it was hardly what she would have wanted for her wedding.

They stood facing Cassandra, hand in hand. She cleared her throat.

“I have never been asked to perform a wedding,” she said.

She glared at them, as though daring them to make a comment. _Touchy subject,_ Leliana thought. She’d had to ask her more about it later, if they were even still on speaking terms at that point.

Cassandra cleared her throat again. “I am most familiar with the ceremony preferred by the Seekers. I have had no cause before to acquaint myself with the Orlesian…”

“They serve the same purpose,” Leliana snapped. Were they going to argue about everything? “We haven’t much time. Go on.”

Beside her, she saw the Warden bite back a smile. _Yes, this is hilarious,_ Leliana thought bitterly. _We will all three have a good laugh about this later._

But she bowed her head as Cassandra led them in the opening prayer. “Dearly beloved,” she said, once they had concluded. “We gather here today…”

For one rueful moment, they were painfully aware that there was no audience at all.

“…in the Maker’s sight,” Cassandra continued, belligerently. “In Him is the light that is to reveal all secrets, and the daybreak that shall unite all who belong to one another.”

She proceeded smoothly through the rest of the ceremony, remembering it as perfectly as though she’d done it a thousand times before. The Warden recited his vows, looking lovingly at her while she did the same.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Cassandra said. Her strident tone belied the genuine smile that graced her lips. Her whole demeanor changed with it, though Leliana had little time to note it before the Warden pulled her into a kiss.

They’d been with each other for two days, and this was the first time she’d seen Cassandra smile. Regardless of how many years they spent together, Leliana thought, it could well be the last.

* * *

 

“You will let me come back to visit you, now?”

“Yes, for now. From now until, Maker willing, we make a home together at last.”

* * *

 

After a hasty goodbye, the Warden departed, riding a new horse from the Chantry’s stable. “How shall we explain this?” Cassandra asked Leliana, as they watched his previous horse quenching its thirst at a trough, almost too weary to stand.

Leliana shrugged. She felt numb, as though she’d cried every tear she’d ever cry, though she knew that was far from true. “A messenger needed a new horse. He was delivering urgent news of an impending death. Such requests are often made of the Chantry.” Cassandra nodded, and Leliana sensed her approval, though it gave her scarce satisfaction.

They went back inside to the main hall, where Cassandra motioned to two particularly straight-backed chairs. “We should always be here to greet the Divine whenever she returns,” she said. “In the unusual event that we are not already with her, that is.”

Leliana just nodded, lacking the energy to respond to the passive aggression.

She and Cassandra divided up yet another large stack of papers that turned out to be a briefing for Justinia’s meeting with clerics from the Free Marches for the following day. Leliana noticed that Cassandra nodding off a few times, though she was evidently fighting hard to stay awake. _Stubborn,_ Leliana thought. _Loyal._ These were qualities she could match.

_Selfless._ Cassandra had her soundly beaten there.

Her thoughts were disrupted by the sound of a carriage approaching. Cassandra leapt to her feet, and not to be outdone, Leliana hurried to draw level with her as they went to meet Justinia at the gate.

The carriage pulled up, the door opened, and Leliana and Cassandra bowed, raising only their eyes. To Leliana’s surprise, two girls, hardly older than seven, tumbled out of the carriage, rubbing their eyes. They looked to have been napping. Their faces had been cleaned, but they were streaked with mud from head to toe.

Behind them, Divine Justinia stepped out of the carriage. She was absolutely covered in mud, the white and scarlet and gold of her regalia barely visible.

Cassandra knelt with her face to the ground. “One of us should have handled the complications, Most Holy,” she said.

Justinia laughed. “Well, I enjoy a warm mud bath now and then. It’s good for the skin.”

She looked sprightlier than she had before, and there was lively color in her face.

“The parents?” Cassandra said in a low voice.

Justinia shook her head. “Maker rest their souls.” She rested a hand on each of the girls’ shoulders. “But with some ingenuity, I have succeeded in bringing their two daughters to join us. We will call them by different names; someday, when the time is right, they may resume their identities if they prefer. For now, we welcome two new sisters into our family.”

As a group, they proceeded into the Chantry. The other women rushed to embrace the girls. Chattering, they led the two away, leaving Justinia with Leliana and Cassandra before the Sunburst Throne.

She looked from one to the other. Slowly, she asked, “Was all well here?”

“Yes, Divine,” Leliana and Cassandra chorused.

“Oh, praise the Maker!”

Reaching out, she clasped their hands – Leliana on her left, Cassandra on her right. After a fraction of a moment’s pause – which would not have escaped Justinia’s notice – Leliana and Cassandra joined hands as well.

Justinia burst into peals of laughter.

“Ladies, you should see each other’s faces!” she chuckled. “Be assured that I will not ask you to hold hands every day.”

“We would be pleased to, if you wished it,” Leliana said piously.

Beside her, Cassandra made a disgusted noise. “I would not,” she said.

“Let it be known that Cassandra would not,” Justinia said. “But this day, today, I must rejoice, for I have done some good.”

And she squeezed their hands. Amidst the giddy chaos of her thoughts and fears – she had gotten married today, she would surely never compare with Cassandra in anyone’s eyes – Leliana had one clear thought: _Then so have I, as well._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you look up “affentier the hands of the divine,” there is an absolutely adorable comic of the two Hands and Justinia. Someone needs to write about all their adventures…
> 
> Justinia leads the Chantry in the beginning of Psalm 27. She references 1 Corinthians 13 in her questions to Leliana.
> 
> “The light that is to reveal all secrets, and the daybreak that shall unite all who belong to one another” comes from The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear what you thought. (:


	2. The Right Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra wonders if she should tell Leliana the secret she’s keeping from herself.

“Lord, I am thine, and thou art mine:

So mine thou art, that something more

I may presume thee mine, then thine.

For thou didst suffer to restore

Not thee, but me, and to be mine,

And with advantage mine the more,

Since thou in death wast none of thine,

Yet then as mine didst me restore.

         O be mine still! still make me thine!

         Or rather make no Thine and Mine!”

– George Herbert, “Clasping of Hands”

 

_9:41 Dragon_

The day after she married Cullen, Cassandra asked Leliana if she could speak with her. “Perhaps we could take a walk?” she asked, and Leliana, to her surprise, had agreed.

“The flowers are in bloom,” Leliana exclaimed, as they walked around Skyhold’s perimeter. Cassandra did not miss the sadness in her voice. The rookery had its charms, but at the end of the day, it was a place of solitary confinement. When Leliana was determined to punish herself, Cassandra was powerless to stop her.

But it was good to know that she could still be drawn out, if only for a while.

After they had walked a distance, Cassandra said, “I wanted to tell you that you have completely outdone me at planning weddings.” She added, “Which would come as a surprise to no one.”

“I did have slightly more notice,” Leliana said mildly.

“You did not,” Cassandra said, exasperated. “I never told you I was going to get married!”

“You didn’t need to. It was even more obvious than that.”

Cassandra scowled. “I just wanted to thank you. And to tell you that it was quite wonderful.”

“It was the least I could do to repay the favor.”

“But you did so much more than that.” Cassandra sighed. “I don’t know why I have never apologized to you before, but I was always sorry for the way I handled your wedding, all those years ago. It was hasty and impersonal.”

“But you made it happen. It wouldn’t even have been possible without you,” Leliana pointed out. “You had not slept at all the night before, just to bring him to me.”

“True. Still. I always knew you wanted Justinia to do it.”

“I did. But I was also glad afterwards that it was you. We are friends now, and that will always be part of our friendship. Besides, it could have taken us forever to get there if you hadn’t officiated my wedding.” Leliana smiled. “I was quite wrong about you at the beginning. You waited so long to tell me about Galyan that I thought you had no romantic interests whatsoever.”

“I did not wish for him to define me. You understand.”

“Yes, I do. Still. I thought you were like Justinia, choosing a life of chastity, the better to dedicate yourself to the Maker. And you seemed so successful that I tried to spare you Cullen, at first,” Leliana laughed. “I should have had a little more faith. We are more than our marriages, though they make us more, too.”

She sighed.

“You must have thought me weak. When I first arrived to serve Divine Justinia, and instead started crying my eyes out over a man.”

Cassandra shook her head. “I was concerned that your heart was divided. But I never thought you weak. Your strength was your love. Justinia just showed you how to channel it, rather than cut it off.” She paused. “Have you… heard from him, recently?”

“I wrote to him again last week,” Leliana said, after a moment. “I invited him to come to your ceremony. He said he would be as sorry to miss it for your sake as for mine.”

Cassandra snorted. “Such a diplomatic answer. He had better have been a good deal sorrier for your sake.”

Leliana shrugged. “He has his work to do, just as I have mine. That was always the way for us. We were together for a time… I can be grateful even if I can’t have that now.”

“And you don’t regret marrying him?”

“No. It has been difficult, but Justinia was right about it being the better path. I have come to see it as a portrait of how I am with the Maker. He spoke to me once, and now I am His jealously waiting lover, peering through a dim glass. But they also serve who only wait.”

She added, with a self-deprecating smile, “I have had a great deal of time to think upon these metaphors. You are a sword. Willingly serving the one who wields you. Cutting to the marrow. Worn proudly for all to see.

“I know Divine Justinia cautioned us against thinking of ourselves as mere tools. But swords, among objects, have souls, do they not? And they seek one who will care for them as they deserve.

“Whereas I… mine is a promise of things to yet come, if they may. A time when we can be together again, face to face. Now we know in part; then we shall know fully, even as we are fully known. Justinia saw the danger – that I would grow to love secrets, rather than the day when the Maker’s light shall reveal them all. Perhaps after the Inquisition, I must put secrets aside.”

Cassandra hoped her face didn’t betray what she was thinking. She was thinking – oddly, it would seem – of Morrigan’s son, Kieran. The two of them rarely mingled with the others anymore. Ever since Kieran had stepped through the Eluvian, and Cassandra had gone with the Inquisitor to bring him back, no one had known what to make of them. Kieran, born with a soul of an old god? That was hardly the strangest of claims Morrigan had made.

But the pair had come out to attend the wedding, and at the reception, Kieran came up to her to give her a flower, one that he must have ventured out of the garden to find. Cassandra tucked it behind her ear, adding, “Thank you. I wish I had something to give to you as well.”

“It’s my birthday,” Kieran said, though not in a demanding way.

“Today?”

“In this season. Mother will not tell me the day. She says that way, I may celebrate every day in the spring.”

The spring. That was the last piece. For years, Cassandra had turned over some strange facts in her mind. That Leliana and Morrigan had traveled together, yet the two seemed to have tacitly agreed never to acknowledge it. That Morrigan had never named Kieran’s father, who must have been with them around the end of the Blight, nine months before the spring. And that the Warden who slayed the Archdemon had not died…

What had started as a suspicion, research had developed into a theory, one that Cassandra had gradually come to believe was true. She knew that Leliana never looked quite as closely at the Warden’s ongoing research as she could have, never considered why, though he had visited her at various Chantries and cloisters over the years, he had outright refused to come to Skyhold, and most of all, she carefully avoided speaking to Morrigan about Kieran, or taking much notice of the two at all…

These last secrets would continue to have a hold over Leliana as long as she didn’t examine them too closely. And Cassandra hesitated to tell her even that.

* * *

 

Aloud, though, Cassandra said presently, “Justinia would have been proud of who you have become. And may become, still.” With a straight face, she added, “The Left Hand to another Divine.”

Leliana raised her eyebrows. “Not if I become Divine myself first. Helping someone else go down in history as the longest-serving Right Hand.”

Cassandra smirked. “At any rate, it will not be either of us, at this juncture.”

“No. But perhaps in a few years…”

“Perhaps.” Cassandra paused. Then she said seriously, “I want you to know that if – if it is the Maker’s will that I should serve you, the honor would be mine. As I am yours.”

“As mine is yours as well,” Leliana said, smiling. “I count it all joy.”

They joined hands as they walked back to Skyhold, like girls at play, their faces warmed by the noonday sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leliana references 1 Corinthians 13. “But they also serve who only wait” borrows from Milton’s Sonnet 19, “When I consider how my light is spent…”
> 
> Thank you, thank you again for reading!


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